The Tickle Monster

After exploring several planets, Nathaniel parks his ship in the middle of a dust cloud where he can perform necessary repairs away from prying eyes that might attempt to take advantage of a stalled craft. Although the dust is thinly spread, the size of the cloud completely blocks view of the stars. He and his crew would be in absolute darkness if not for the ship’s lights.

“Um, you, the round one,” Nathaniel says.

“I’m Fred,” Fred says.

“Right, shut down the engine and pump out the fuel collector so you can remove the regulator and give it to the, uh, yellow one,” Nathaniel says.

Doctor Bill takes the regulator, plugs it into the diagnostic terminal station, and reboots it. In the meantime, Nathaniel and Haticat put on spacesuits and go outside to test and straighten the ion accelerator guns. The outside of the ship has many handles to hold and each space suit comes with a single cable ending in a clip. They detach and reattach their clips as they move. The first three of six guns are tested and adjusted as necessary and they slowly make their way over to the fourth. “Hey, what’s that?” Haticat asks.

“I don’t see anything,” Nathaniel says.

Haticat pulls down his magnification visor and Nathaniel follows suit. There is a tiny pink speck in the distance and it seems to be wobbling. “I still can’t tell what it is.”

“Go back in the ship. We’ll put the ship scanners on it,” Nathaniel says.

Once inside, they study it intensely. “It’s some sort of giant polychaete and it’s coming this way,” Haticat says.

“It travels by means of a gravitational dipole, but I don’t understand how it generates it,” Nathaniel says.

“Look at the way it dances. It’s writhing all over the place,” Haticat says.

“Let’s put up the force field just in case,” Nathaniel says. “Doctor Bill, how long until we have engines again?”

“Without cutting corners on repairs, two hours. If I put everything back right away without repairs, thirty minutes,” Doctor Bill says.

“We might not have thirty minutes. Hurry,” Nathaniel says. Doctor Bill and Fred scramble to insert every part back into place while Nathaniel watches the monitor closely. The movement of the creature’s parapods is mesmerizing, but something about it makes him feel uneasy. “There is definitely something weird about that dipole.”

“I’m reading paraentropic action; it’s some sort of psychotrophic organism,” Haticat reports. “I’m also reading supersymmetric particles, mostly photino radiation.”

Fifteen minutes later, the creature collides with the force field. It scrapes its parapods over its surface. Power levels fluctuate across the ship, but the force field holds. Nathaniel is surprised to find himself gasping. He feels so strange. “You feel that too?” Haticat asks.

Nathaniel struggles for words. “It’s like…It’s like…”

“It’s like being tickled without being touched,” Haticat says.

Just then, Fred starts laughing and falls into the fuel collector. He is spasming so hard that he can’t stand. Sparks of purple energy run back and forth from station to station. It seems to come from the force field generator. One pulse of energy briefly touches Nathaniel as it passes by, causing him to convulse as well. Tickling was supposed to be psychological rather than physical, but this tickling was manifesting as visible discharges. “It’s transferring energy through the force field!”

He switches the generator off and runs to where he can jump up and grab onto one of the six particle accelerators connecting the weapons reactor to the guns on the hull. He then pours his electricity power into the tubes, electrifying the outside of the hull and shocking the creature as it tries to get in. “Fred! I need those engines!”

“The being has moved away from the hull. I am opening fire.” Haticat hits it with a beam of protons travelling over 99.9999% the speed of light. The creature squirms.

“We still need five more minutes!” Doctor Bill yells.

“Haticat, rotate the ship so we can hit it with three beams. Don’t let it recover,” Nathaniel says.

“Got it!” Haticat reorients the artificial gravity holding down the water, shifting its weight to provide the necessary torque. He hits the worm with repeated ion pulses from three directions. It continues to squirm and moves away from the ship.

At last, the engines are online. The ship begins to accelerate away and Haticat stops firing. The worm gives chase. “Faster!” Nathaniel orders.

The ship speeds out of the dust cloud and the stars reappear. The creature is right behind them. In fact, it gradually closes the gap. “I can’t lose it,” Haticat states.

“I have an idea. Creatures of the void are rarely capable of landing or taking off. Find a planet with strong gravity and land on it,” Nathaniel says.

Haticat scans the three thousand closest star systems. “I found a terrestrial planet with surface gravity nine times that of Gruezhe. It’s three minutes away.”

“We don’t have bones. We won’t be able to stand,” Doctor Bill says.

“At nine times gravity, I won’t be able to stand even with bones,” Nathaniel says. “Land us there.”

The creature continues to get closer. Finally, they arrive at the planet and enter the atmosphere. It is a transparent, breathable mix of oxygen and nitrogen, that reaches the perfect density just above ground level. The planet is dominated by flat plains of magenta stone and it is on one of these the ship lands. The internal artificial gravity compensates for the external gravity automatically. “The creature has slowed. It seems to be circling,” Haticat reports.

“It doesn’t dare enter such a strong gravity well not knowing if it can leave again,” Nathaniel says.

“Wait, it’s moving away now,” Haticat says.

“Can we finish repairs?” Doctor Bill asks.

“Sure,” Nathaniel agrees. While Fred and Doctor Bill finish the engines, Nathaniel and Haticat step outside to finish straightening the ion channels. They wear antigravity belts to negate some of their mass, allowing them to stand in the planet’s strong gravity. Once finished, they take a short stroll across the plain. There is some movement up ahead. It is a blob the size of a bus, the same shade of magenta as the rock around it. “It blends in so well,” Haticat says.

Nathaniel pulls out his scanner. “There are hundreds of them, spaced about eighty meters apart on average.”

Haticat looks around. “You’d never know it.”

“Hold on, what’s that? There’s something large and warm. That way,” Nathaniel comments. They look to see something pale pink in the distance scurrying along on parapods. “It’s using its gravitational dipole to protect it from the planet’s gravity.”

Haticat is already on his radio and running back to the ship. “Guys! It’s here. How long on repairs?”

“We’re almost done,” Doctor Bill replies.

“Prepare to take off,” Nathaniel orders.

Nathaniel and Haticat run toward the ship. The creature closes the gap and would have caught them if it didn’t stop to tickle the magenta blob. The blob convulses and then wiggles free. Due to its highly flexible morphology, the worm can’t seem to keep a grip on it. Nathaniel locks the door as Haticat runs for the controls. “I’m still rebooting the computer,” Doctor Bill informs him.

Haticat holds his hands over the controls ready to start the takeoff sequence the moment they become active. Then the screen flashes: BOOT ERROR. “What? What does that mean?”

“Let me try again.” Doctor Bill flips a bunch of switches, pulls out a knob and slams it in again. The screen flashes a series of colored shapes.

“What’s going on?” Nathaniel asks.

“Just having some trouble rebooting the engine computer,” Doctor Bill answers.

Just then, there is a thud at the door. Everyone’s hair stands on end. Purple sparks begin to dance along the walkway. “Hurry up,” Nathaniel says.

Then, to everyone’s surprise, the door opens and in slithers the worm. Haticat and Fred immediately have their laser pistols out and fire at it. It jerks and coils up slightly. Then it starts to move down the walkway. Nathaniel joins the other two and they sustain continuous laser fire. Wounds open up in its skin. It stops, but the tickle energy doesn’t. Fred is overcome first, dropping his gun into the water and laughing like a maniac as he writhes on the floor. Haticat cannot hold his gun steady and the beam scratches the inner wall of the ship. Nathaniel can hardly catch his breath; he is laughing so hard. “Stop. Stop it.” Back in the control station, the computer has successfully restarted, but Doctor Bill is on the floor, rolling back and forth.

The worm moves forward slowly, stepping over Fred, Haticat, and Nathaniel, brushing its parapods against them. Now the real tickling begins. What was mere psychological projection is now physical. The being draws energy from the interaction, storing it away in memory cells for later. Gathering together what is left of his will, Nathaniel grabs the body of the worm with both hands and delivers his best shock. The tickling immediately stops and the worm freezes in place. Nathaniel pours even higher voltage into it, damaging its nervous system.

Fred retrieves his gun floating in the reservoir and the three of them start to cut the worm up. “Take off now?” Doctor bill asks.

“Yes, we’ll teleport the tickle monster into the sun,” Nathaniel answers.

Doctor Bill launches the ship and steers it toward the planet’s star. They have to get close to use the teleporter, which only works over distances shorter than two thousand kilometers. They all crowd into the control station as the ship flies. Finally, they arrive in the star’s chromosphere. “I can’t get a link on the worm matter. There’s too much photino interference,” Doctor Bill complains.

“We’ll have to put a force field around the door and eject it,” Nathaniel says.

As he speaks, the worm’s parapods begin to wiggle. One section of worm finds another and they start to fuse. “Whoa! Get back!” Haticat shouts as he opens fire on the fusing parts.

Nathaniel reaches for the gravity controls. Each section of the ship is on its own artificial gravity circuit. He reverses the generators under the walkway where the worm is located. It flies up and slams into the domed ceiling, where it slowly brings itself together as they watch. It finishes pulling itself together and the purple sparks begin again. The tickling is just beginning and Nathaniel fights the urge to laugh. “Open the door!” Doctor Bill pulls a lever and the door opens. The air rushes out, pulling the worm with it. “Close it!” Nathaniel yells. Doctor Bill closes the door and Nathaniel resets the gravity. “Now get out of here!”

Doctor Bill accelerates the ship and leaves the solar system. The creature follows. Doctor Bill pushes the engines harder and harder. At the risk of damaging the engines, he alters the mix of particles to get more speed. “How does it keep up?” Fred asks.

“I knew there was something odd about that gravitational dipole,” Nathaniel mutters.

“Hmm?” Haticat says.

“When we were stationary, the creature approached very slowly. When we fled, it kept up. When on the high-gravity planet, the creature had no problem taking off,” Nathaniel says, skimming through the sensor logs as fast as he can. “I think the tickle monster discriminates between gravitational forces by direction and chooses whether to respond with positive or negative acceleration.”

“What?” Haticat says.

“It’s drawing on our own antigravity flux to follow us. We need to find an empty patch of space as far from stars or other sources of gravity as we can get,” Nathaniel says.

“We’re only three hundred light years from the edge of the galaxy,” Doctor Bill says.

“Go!” Nathaniel orders.

The ship continues to stay just ahead of the monster for the next twenty-one minutes until it plunges into blackness. Only a few stars are visible. “Shut the engines down,” Nathaniel orders. The ship drifts forward at sublight speeds as the creature follows. “Now fire one of the lateral guns – maximum momentum.”

Doctor Bill fires one of the guns pointed at right angles to their direction of motion. Slowly, but surely, the ship moves in the direction opposite the stream of protons. The creature has no way to follow. It gets farther and farther away. Thirty minutes later, when the distance between ship and creature is fifteen kilometers and growing, Nathaniel finally deems it safe to turn the engines back on.

“Take us back inside the galaxy, and keep an eye out for psychoparasites,” Nathaniel orders.

“I will do that,” Doctor Bill replies. They return to the Milky Way and the worm is left far behind.

SUPPORT