Going Pink

The boys are winning. They now control sixty-five percent of the galaxy, including Candy and Gruezhe. Girls are dying by the trillions. Nathaniel has been promoted to vice president, second only to President Bobot. His duties include overseeing invasions while Bobot sleeps.

One night, Nathaniel is skimming through reports from the latest invasions when he is interrupted by an urgent message from the other end of the galaxy. “Everything is pink! I’m pink! The controls are pink! The stars are pink!”

Within forty-eight hours it becomes apparent that the girls have made a new weapon. This new energy wave spreads not only through matter, but travels through empty space at 100,000 times light speed. It will cover the galaxy in one year.

Boys inside the pink zone are unable to fight. Some kill themselves. Some blindfold themselves or tear out their eyes. Those who can take it continue to resist the girls, but with no supplies coming in it is only a matter of time before the girls will win.

The energy field only allows pink light, making both lasers and trazers impossible. Hammer-Face ships equipped with machine guns are sent in, but the girls of the area are better prepared, already having projectile weapons.

Peter, the new head of the Girlbusters, brings his report to Bobot and Nathaniel. “There has been a restructuring of power in the girl government. With the other leaders dead or isolated by boy forces, a girl scientist named Miss Bossy has assumed power.”

“Allison,” Nathaniel says.

“Yes. She was last known to be on planet Mum, near where the pinkness began,” Peter adds.

Bobot turns to his chief of science. “What do we know about the energy field?”

“Very little. It moves faster than our fastest scans. To study it properly, we need to send someone inside,” the science chief says.

“Do we have volunteers?” Bobot asks.

“I’ve assembled a team led by Doctor Bill,” the science chief answers.

“Okay, do it,” Bobot orders.

Doctor Bill spends four days inside the pink making no headway on developing a cure when outside the pink, Nathaniel makes a discovery. “Doctor Bill, the pinkness just reached its first black hole and it casts a shadow,” Nathaniel says.

“A shadow?” Doctor Bill says into his radio.

“Yes, the pinkness only travels in straight lines past the event horizon; it doesn’t wrap around. Does that mean anything?” Nathaniel asks.

The fun scientist thinks a moment. “It could mean that the pinkness itself grows at a speed much too low for you to have detected, but that it is deposited across space by a carrier wave projected from a single point. If we could locate and destroy the generator, my guess is that the pinkness will dissipate.”

“We’ll have to locate Allison, too, or else she’ll just build another generator,” Haticat says.

“Allison is too bossy; I hate her,” Katie growls.

“Yes,” Nathaniel says. Then an idea begins to take form in his mind. “Katie, how would you like to wear a pink dress?”

“No!” Katie shouts.

“Not even to help catch Allison and boss her around for a change?” Nathaniel prods.
Katie wriggles her lips in a strange way and says, “Maybe.”

“Great! Fred, go find a dress. We’re sending Katie into the pink,” Nathaniel declares.

“A dress? All we have are burlap bags,” Fred says.

“That’ll work,” Nathaniel declares. “Doctor Bill, we’re sending Katie to help you find Allison and the generator.”

“Okay, we’ll be here,” Doctor Bill says.

“Okay, signing off,” Nathaniel says.

Not thirty seconds later, there is an alarm on the science ship. “Doctor, we’re being approached by a girl ship!”

“CSA!” Doctor Bill curses.

By the time Nathaniel finishes explaining to Katie how to use the locator, which she keeps complaining is too complicated, and gets her dressed up and on a ship bound for pink space, Doctor Bill and his team of scientists have already been captured and brought to planet Mum. Doctor Bill is brought before Allison herself, Matilda on one side of her and Sarah on the other, for interrogation. “How much did you tell my brother about the ether compression formula?”

“Nothing! What’s ether compression?” Doctor Bill says.

“Don’t play stupid! That’s a girl game! I’ll have your stuffing removed and woven into fancy hats, attending tea parties until you completely wear out!” Allison declares.

“No! I didn’t tell him anything! I promise!” Doctor Bill says.

Allison calms right down. “Good. You’d better not have told him anything.”

When Nathaniel learns he has lost contact with Doctor Bill, he sends in an extraction team. He wants to go himself, but is needed to watch the rest of the galaxy. Instead, Haticat and Fred go with them. Nathaniel keeps an open channel both with the extraction team and with Katie. While waiting, he takes a much-needed nap. He is awoken by Katie. “I found it! It’s a giant egg-shaped machine. It’s the only thing around here that isn’t pink.”

“What color is it?” Nathaniel asks.

“White. No, black. No, white. No, black. No, white,” Katie says.

“Does it keep changing color?” Nathaniel asks.

“Yes,” Katie says.

“Okay. Attach the bomb, press the big button, and get far away,” Nathaniel says.

“Okay,” Katie says.

It is another hour before the extraction team locates the boy scientists. At Nathaniel’s orders, the team splits into two teams. One team blows open the wall to Allison’s palace, shoots the guards, and rescues the boys. The other chases Allison as she tries to escape. They board her ship as she tries to take off. “Take her alive if you can,” Nathaniel orders. He continues to listen in on events as they unfold.

“Drop the weapon!” one operative yells. Allison sneers and tosses something their way. There is a bright flash of light and their guns jam. The bullets have melted and fused to the chamber. Allison grabs a sword from somewhere and runs toward them, swinging. The two operatives in front block her attack with their rifles. One of the operatives in back has a stupid-ray, but cannot get a clear shot. Allison is winning. She slices open the shoulder of one boy and cuts the gun of another boy in half. There is no time to think. The operative sets the stupid-ray to maximum and shoots.

Nathaniel’s nerves are stressed to the limit. Managing a whole galaxy without proper sleep is getting to him. He has lost all contact with Katie and the team chasing Allison. Only the extraction team rescuing Doctor Bill has maintained contact and is safely headed home. The pinkness is already beginning to dissipate. “The carrier wave travels at one hundred thousand C, but the pinkness itself only grows at one meter per second. It will eventually fill the universe, but not for a very long time,” Doctor Bill explains through the radio.

“Unless Allison builds another,” Nathaniel suggests.

“There is a chance,” Doctor Bill says, “that a stupid-ray at maximum strength would have permanently wiped all recent memories, such as the formula for the carrier wave. In any case, she and our team of operatives are probably all fully incapacitated and drooling on the floor together right now.”

“They will be remembered as heroes,” Nathaniel says.

“Indeed they will,” Doctor Bill says.

“As will Katie. She succeeded in her mission too. I wonder what happened to her,” Nathaniel says.

“We may never know,” Doctor Bill says.

“Right. Well, I desperately need some sleep. I’ll see you when you get home,” Nathaniel says.

“Signing off,” Doctor Bill says into the radio.

SUPPORT