“Today, we’re going further than ever before,” Captain Nathaniel announces.

“You finished the limiter?” Haticat asks excitedly.

“Yes,” Nathaniel replies.

For many years, scientists have wondered whether space continues forever or whether it curls back on itself such that travelling in a straight line will eventually bring one back to where they started. Unfortunately, no one dares leave the galaxy, since no one can see farther than about four thousand light years, since it has only been about four thousand years since Y created the universe and light only goes so fast. However, Nathaniel has been working on a plan. He has perfected a means of precision to ensure his ship travels in perfectly straight lines to one part in twenty septillion septillion septillion septillion. He hopes it is enough.

He has also acquired a tachyon beacon. Such technology is not new, but it has never been used the way he is planning. By beaming tachyons in all directions from one point, the beams should converge at the exact opposite point in space – assuming there is one. By using very low-energy tachyons – much lower than anyone has ever used before – they will travel very many times the speed of light and reach the convergence point quickly. Finding this focus is how the crew will know they have gone halfway and allow them to measure the universe’s circumference.

Most importantly, he has also been working for years on making the engines faster. No one wants to go looking for the other side of all reality if it is going to take an entire lifetime. He doubts that there has ever been such a fast ship before.

“All systems are operating normally. Capacitors are fully charged,” Haticat reports.

“Everything is clear on the scanner. The tachyons are streaming as planned,” Doctor Bill reports.

“No enemy ships detected,” Fred reports.

“Good. Point us in any direction, full speed. Go!” Nathaniel orders.

Nathaniel walks past the engine room as the cross-ship speeds through interstellar space. “What is that smell?” He tracks the source of the scent to the fuel decoherence chamber. It smells a bit like strawberries and ozone, but also like nothing he has ever smelled before. He switches on the ship’s internal scanners to see what’s going on.

The fuel is producing virtual pions at an alarming rate. Matter and antimatter are building up in the chamber instead of combining, creating a potentially explosive situation. “Yikes!” He quickly shuts the engine down and dumps the fuel.

He calls his crew to the bridge to discuss the issue. “So, apparently the power of Atomica gives me the ability to smell radiation. Unfortunately, we now only have as much fuel as was left in the primary and secondary injectors – enough to get no more than three light years.”

“We’ll need a terrestrial planet to make more fuel. What’s the nearest one called?” Haticat says.

Doctor Bill opens the catalogue app. “Iddhya. We are 2.2 light years from Iddhya.”

“Oh, so it happens today,” Nathaniel says, staring into space.

Captain Nathaniel’s cross-ship speeds away from the uninhabited planet he just finished exploring. Haticat and Fred drive while he and Doctor Bill measure and label the wrinkled, silvery animals they collected from the limestone caves near the shore. Some resemble koalas. Others resemble starfish. Many resemble salamanders. “Captain, another ship is approaching us,” Fred announces. Nathaniel rushes to the bridge.

The other ship sends a message. “Bang, bang, bang, we got you.”

“What game is this?” Nathaniel replies.

“We’re The Bad Guys. We’re space pirates.”

“Okay,” Nathaniel says. “You broke my engines, but I’m shooting back. Pew, pew, pew, pew.”

“We have plasma-cooled shielding; you didn’t hurt us at all.”

“Well, then I made an ultrastrong magnetic field to halt your plasma flow and shot you again,” Nathaniel says.

“But you took too long and we’re already on board.”

“You can’t be that fast,” Nathaniel says. Just then, there is a knock at the door. Nathaniel, Haticat, Fred, and Doctor Bill walk to the airlock and open the door. In walks a robot, in slithers a snake, and in oozes a blob. They each carry a balloon sword. The robot has large eyes and multiple jointed arms in multiple sockets. The gigantic snake has a short horn on its snout curving up and a long horn on each side of its head curving down. It carries its sword in its tail. The blob vaguely resembles a black garbage bag with a balloon sword imbedded in it.

“We’re The Bad Guys. Give us all your money,” the robot says.

“We don’t have any money,” Nathaniel says.

“Oh, well we’ll just take some of your stuff then,” the robot says, holding the explorers against the wall with his balloon sword while the snake and blob move along. Nathaniel simply ducks under the sword and follows after them. “Hey, not so fast; I’m supposed to capture you,” the robot says.

The entire group of players walk around the ship. The “pirates” take some clothes, food, and lab equipment. The robot picks up one of the silver animals. “This looks valuable.”

“My name is Fred. What’s yours,” the snake asks.

“Hey! My name is Fred!” Fred says.

“Well, there are only so many possible names. We were bound to run out eventually,” Nathaniel says.

“My name is Arko,” the robot declares.

“My name is Marv,” the blob adds in a gurgling voice.

“I’m Nathaniel, and this is Haticat, Fred, and Doctor Bill,” Nathaniel says.

“Hey, I met another Bill once, but he wasn’t a doctor,” Arko comments.

They all continue to play together until snake Fred sees the time machine and tries to take out a time crystal. “No, don’t touch that!” Nathaniel yells. The snake plucks out a crystal with his mouth, upsetting the delicate balance of time flow and causing time to run faster in his head than his heart can keep up with. He faints. Nathaniel runs over and replaces the crystal. “This is a very dangerous and complicated machine.”

“Wow, how did you move that fast?” Arko asks.

“I have many powers,” Nathaniel says. “Don’t touch these.”

“Okay,” Arko agrees.

The “pirates” ignore all machinery from then on and return to their ship. Haticat asks them if they ever go exploring in natural areas. “No, we’ve never gone exploring before. We usually just play pirates or cops and robbers,” Arko answers.

“You can come with us and we’ll show you how to use that lab equipment and where to find those animals,” Haticat says.

“Maybe after lunch,” Arko says. “I need a recharge.”

“Okay,” Haticat says.

“Good idea. I’ll eat lunch, too. Then you can follow us in your ship,” Nathaniel says.

The visitors close the airlock door and detach their ship from Nathaniel’s. Nathaniel grabs two candy bars, a carton of milk, and a peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich and eats them on the bridge. He sees the other ship on his viewscreen begin to move away faster and faster and faster. “Where are they going?” The other ship is soon speeding away faster than light. “Hey! They took my stuff!”

“And there it is! The biggest restaurant in the galaxy!” Nathaniel announces. On the viewscreen is a glowing arc. This is the luminescent ring of Ranor, partially obscured by the dark planet. As they get closer, city lights become visible.

Ranor is a rogue planet. It orbits no star and sits in the cold of interstellar space. It is the largest colony of the Vlymons, humanoid creatures with swirls of white, black, blue, and red-orange on their skin. They each have one red eye and one black eye. Ranor is ruled by an individual known only as “The Chef,” a culinary and business genius who has converted the entire colony into a restaurant.

The ship lands and Nathaniel is shown to a table by the Vlymon waitstaff. They wear box-shaped hats. He is accompanied by Haticat, Fred, Doctor Bill, and Blacky, his pet flying ray. “What would you like today?” the Vlymon asks.

“I don’t know. There are too many choices,” Nathaniel says, struggling to skim through the digital menu of millions of dishes.

“Then might I suggest The Chef’s ladder? A series of small plates chosen by The Chef himself based on your biosensory profile?” The waiter poses.

“Okay,” Nathaniel says.

“Perfect. I shall return with your first plate,” the waiter says.

While Nathaniel waits, a four-meter Sauropod at the next table catches his gaze. “Hi, thar. Get’n The Chef’s laytor?”

Nathaniel blinks. “What? Did you say something?”

“Shore. I akscha if yer wer get’n The Chef’s laytor,” the Sauropod says.

Nathaniel looks at Haticat and then back at the long-neck Dinosaur. “My ears must be malfunctioning. Did you ask if I was getting The Chef’s ladder?”

“Shore did,” the Sauropod says.

“The shore asked? Is there an ocean near here? Does it talk?” Nathaniel asks, more confused than ever.

“Naw. Shore. Shore. As in certeen,” the Sauropod says.

“Certain?” Nathaniel queries.

“Shore,” the Saurpod says.

Nathaniel looks at Haticat again. Haticat speaks. “Why are you talking like that? Is it the way your species mouths work?”

“Naw. It’s an akshint,” the Sauropod says.

“A what?” Nathaniel exclaims.

“An akshint. It’s a stole uff tak’n. It’s a furm uff art. All the people on planeet Barksheed tak this woy,” the Sauropod explains.

“Well they should stop,” Nathaniel says.

Six Stuffians run through the hallways of an empty building. They carry large bags of unassigned money. Nathaniel, Haticat, Fred, and Doctor Bill are right behind them. Pew! Pew! The blue one near the rear turns to fire at Nathaniel and misses. Nathaniel ducks behind a wall, returns fire and also misses. This gains some distance for the other fleeing Stuffians, but Nathaniel is fast. “I can’t lose him!” the blue one screams into his communicator.

“We’ll use the roof!” the peach-colored one calls back. “Lure him to the ground.” The blue Stuffian finds some stairs and jumps down them six at a time. Nathaniel is right behind him. The only reason Nathaniel doesn’t overtake him is the sporadic laserfire he throws backwards in Nathaniel’s direction. Pew! Pew!

Nathaniel squeezes behind a railing as the blue one stops to take better aim at him. He peeks out only to be shot at again. Pew! Pew! When he peeks out again, the blue one is gone, having gained a few more seconds of running.

Finally, the blue one stops at the end of the final stretch of stairs with his hand on the metal railing. He takes aim as Nathaniel stops at the top. This time, Nathaniel reaches for the railing and zaps it with his electricity power, sending the Gruezhling reeling. He drops his gun and falls to the floor, unconscious.

In the meantime, the other five have reached the roof. They each extend the antigravity batons they carry and prepare to ride them like broomsticks. Zzrrt! Haticat’s laser burns a tiny hole in one of the money bags. He storms onto the roof followed by Fred and Doctor Bill.

The other Stuffians flee, dropping the burned bag and riding their batons into the sky, as the two groups continue to exchange laserfire.

“They got away!” Haticat yells into his radio.

“I got one of them,” Nathaniel says.

“What do we do now?” Haticat asks.

“Meet me downstairs and we’ll find an apartment,” Nathaniel says. The explorers were on planet Bingo, a Human colony under construction. In expectation of new arrivals, the Humans had built one thousand homes for every person currently living on the planet. These homes were unlocked and ready for use.

Bingo was awash with money. To prevent theft, bills were “locked” with the identification of the owner and could only be transferred with the owner’s permission by recording the identification of the recipient. However, the big banks often held large amounts of unassigned money ready to be loaned out. This practice had encouraged a new strain of bank robbers and Nathaniel had offered his help to catch them.

In an apartment, the Stuffian named Blue Bear is tied to a chair. The money bag next to him squirms. “What is that?” Nathaniel asks.

“Just our pet Blacky. We like having it around,” Blue Bear says.

Nathaniel tentatively opens the sack and a black, ray-like creature flies across the room and attaches to the wall. Fred watches it intensely with one hand on his holstered weapon.

“Who do you work for?” Haticat asks.

“Ha! I’m not going to tell you that,” Blue Bear says.

Haticat unfolds a knife in front of him. “We’ve been offered an incredible sum of reward money to put an end to the theft. If you help us, we can share some with you. Your identity will be secret, and you’ll be able to leave the planet and retire in peace.”

Blue Bear looks indecisive for a moment. “Uh, how much are we talking about?”

“Lots. One million for your cooperation today and another million when our mission is complete,” Haticat says.

Blue Bear furrows his brow. “Twenty million.”

Fred promptly grabs Blue Bear’s head and holds it steady while Haticat grabs his ear and holds the knife against it. “Two million is a good offer. Even better, if you tell us who and where your boss is, we’ll let you keep your ears.”

Blue Bear relaxes a bit and says, “Okay, I…” Suddenly, he looks quite perplexed.

“Okay, what?” Haticat asks.

“I…don’t remember,” Blue Bear says.

“You don’t remember who you work for?” Haticat says.

“I…I want to tell you, but…I can’t remember!” Blue Bear says.

“Try to remember harder,” Fred says.

“I’m trying. I…must have forgotten,” Blue Bear says.

“Help us. The ogre is destroying our village. If anyone is in range, help us.” Nathaniel, Haticat, and Fred listen to the faint signal on the radio.

“It just keeps repeating,” Haticat says.

“What do we know about the planet where it comes from?” Nathaniel asks.

“Almost nothing. It’s supposed to be uninhabitable, with high levels of carbon dioxide and carbon monoxide, and freezing temperatures year-round,” Doctor Bill replies.

“Interesting. Well, set a course. I want to see this village,” Nathaniel says.

“Setting a course,” Haticat says.

When they arrive on the planet, they find only the remains of a village. There are simple huts and fruit trees smashed and desiccated. There are some signs of fire, but there isn’t enough oxygen in the atmosphere to support fire. “There seems to be nobody here,” Doctor Bill comments.

“We might be too late to help,” Nathaniel says.

“Why not use the time machine?” Haticat suggests.

“Good idea. I want to meet these villagers so they can explain to me how they manage to live on such an inhospitable planet,” Nathaniel says.

The explorers return to orbit, travel backwards forty-eight hours, and land again. They almost can’t believe it. The village is warm and oxygenated. Many people of all ages run to and fro.

The people here have very long noses and purple eyes. They wear long robes and tall hats. “Greetings, visitors. My name is Sivel. Why have you come to Atomica?” an unusually tall resident asks.

“We are explorers and wondered how it was you built such a place on a planet like this,” Nathaniel answers.

“Oh, we are Atom Wizards, masters of Brownian motion. Our nuclear-powered hypercomputers calculate the trajectories of every molecule they encounter. With a few small nudges, we can ensure that warmth and oxygen collect here,” Sivel says.

“Interesting,” Nathaniel says.

The four explorers are given a tour of the town, which is less than half a kilometer across. Fruit trees grow throughout, but most grow in the town center. They have been bioengineered to grow fruit that doesn’t necessarily grow on trees, and things that aren’t necessarily fruit. The most common “fruits” are acorns, dates, apricots, blackberries, strawberries, peas, watermelons, lemons, bananas, pecans, potatoes, and eggs.

They stop in a restaurant for a snack. Nathaniel has plain bran donuts and milk. Sivel eats bark chips and cinnamon-rosemary bread with allspice-honey tea. “We control the way smells mix, preventing nasty combinations from interfering with the enjoyment of your meal. It’s called antimix. That’s why you can’t smell the turnip stew they’re making right now so long as you stay near your donuts. This ability even allows us to make things like chocolate-covered chicken nuggets.”

“Ew!” Nathaniel exclaims.

“You don’t taste the chocolate and the chicken at the same time. They alternate,” Sivel explains.

“The amount of precision you manage is astounding. My scanner tells me the average temperature in this room is negative sixty degrees Celsius, but right against my body it rises to twenty-two degrees,” Doctor Bill says.

“Yes, and it can be adjusted for each person so that everyone is comfortable in the same room. We also direct carbon dioxide away from you and oxygen and nitrogen towards you,” Sivel says.

“You must be able to extinguish any fire instantly and automatically, then,” Nathaniel says.

“Of course,” Sivel responds.

“Is there any way the system could go wrong?” Nathaniel asks.

“It’s hard to see how. Our hypercomputers are redundant and correct each other’s mistakes. They are extremely sophisticated – as much as any biological system. They rival our bodies in complexity. One might even say they are alive. Only another hypercomputer of equal or greater mass could ever be a threat to us,” Sivel says.

“Biological systems sometimes succumb to cancer or autoimmune disorders,” Nathaniel mentions.

“Yes, but we perform periodic flushes of faulty elements before they reach critical mass,” Sivel says.

“And where do you put them?” Nathaniel asks.

“The sewers,” Sivel answers.

“Can I see them?” Nathaniel asks.

“Um, I’m not sure. What are you looking for?” Sivel asks.

“Do you have ogres on this planet?” Nathaniel asks.

“Ogres?” Sivel laughs. “No, there is no life on this planet we do not control. There is another Dinosaur here who crash-landed last year that we cared for, but no ogres.”

“Another Dinosaur?” Haticat says.

“Can we meet him?” Nathaniel asks.

“Um, sure. Why not?” Sivel says.

“Here they come!” a Human soldier shouts as several towers appear over the top of the blue hill. In seconds, the battle platforms are visible. They resemble mug racks, but each peg is actually a laser cannon. Down below, the bases hover on a cushion of antigravity. On the bases at the controls are three Anterines each. Resembling wolverines with ant-like heads, the Anterines have claimed this world for their own.

“Fire!” comes the order. The Humans fire bullets and small rockets. What advantage the Anterines have in weaponry, they lack in defense. A rocket or two is all it takes to disrupt their force fields, leaving them exposed. One after the other dies and falls from their platforms. However, the battle continues. A second wave of battle platforms shoots through the first, carving up the Human fort and explosively disassembling their vehicles. As many Humans die as Anterines.

From one hundred million kilometers away, Fred and Haticat watch the flashes through their telescope. “I think it’s a battle,” Haticat says.

“Well let’s figure out who the good guys are and help out!” Nathaniel says.

Pop! The ship reenters the time stream. Haticat scans the surrounding area. They are near a planet completely covered in trees. It doesn’t even have an ocean or ice caps. “Where are we?” Nathaniel asks.

It takes a minute for the computer to find the local constellations in its database. “The computer recognizes this system as one settled by the Zleesnits and Nops. Its designation is Deros,” Haticat reports.

“Well, let’s visit. Descend,” Nathaniel orders.

They soon discover the colony is in chaos. Giant black worms as long as three school busses began arriving three weeks ago, eating up all the soft, juicy trees and pooping out ash. The Zleesnits and Nops reacted by shooting them to bits, but this only created more worms.

“So the worms were here, too,” Nathaniel says.

“They’re smaller than the ones on planet Halpile. Do they get bigger with every planet they visit or is this a new species?” Haticat asks.

“It doesn’t matter so long as they react the same way to salt,” Fred says.

The explorers convince the Zleesnits and Nops to collect saltwater to drop on the worms and on their food sources to kill the worm’s spores. Unfortunately, Derosan trees have very large stomata on their trunks as much as a centimeter across. They inhale spores inside of them where they develop into worms that eat the trees from the inside out where they are protected from the salt. From inside the trees, the worms produce more spores that are exhaled and travel through the air to other trees. A fence of force field generators is set up to protect uninfected groves.

Meanwhile, the giant worms are dying from the salt. Nathaniel surveys the area in his ship. When seventy percent of them have died, ten percent of them start to stand on end. “What are they doing?” Nathaniel asks as he looks through his binoculars. Suddenly, one worm blasts off like a rocket! It is followed by two more and then two more. “Follow those worms!” The explorers follow them into space where they gradually accelerate above light speed. They travel in a perfectly straight line for three hours and fifty-five light years until they suddenly disappear.

“What just happened?” Haticat asks.

Another worm vanishes into the void in the same spot – then another and another. Nathaniel zooms in on the spot. The background stars seem distorted around it. “I think we’re looking at a worm hole.”

Haticat looks at Nathaniel quizzically. “Is that a joke?”

“Today, we’re going further into the future than ever before to visit a lost civilization,” Captain Nathaniel announces.

“What about the Marthon?” Haticat asks.

“There is one civilization never overrun by the Marthon. Do you know the story of the Graykar?” Nathaniel asks.

“I’ve never heard of it,” Haticat responds.

Nathaniel explains. “The Graykar were a powerful race of humanoids in the first five hundred years of existence. They lived on the planet Graykar, which circled a very unusual star that was cold, dark, and had a solid, wrinkled surface. They were able to become so powerful by controlling access to the star’s millions of energetic volcanos. What they did not know is that this star of theirs was created during its 506-year cold phase and their power was temporary. Eventually, it went hot and became in most ways a normal star. The radiation was so intense that travel to and from Graykar quickly became impossible. The homeworld became separated from its colony worlds and no one has heard from it since. Nearly one thousand years went by before a clever Saurornithosaur boy scientist figured out that the star’s hot phase was also temporary. He predicted that it would end 40,068 years after it began, returning the star to its cold, wrinkly state, and making it safe once again to land on Graykar. I want to see if the civilization still thrives.”

“I’ll calculate a spacetime interval,” Haticat declares.

“I’m receiving a distress signal,” Haticat reports.

“From what?” Nathaniel asks.

“It looks like a small craft of Footpip make caught in the accretion disk of a neutron star. It has Chijug registration signatures,” Haticat reports.

“Well, let’s help out. Anything for a survivor of Chijug,” Nathaniel comments.

A well-placed charge fired into the concentrated gas disk blows the ship into an elliptical orbit, but its engines are damaged and Nathaniel must quickly dock his ship to the Footpip’s ship in order to rescue him. They close the airlock and pull free from the superhot vortex just in time to avoid irreversible damage to the ship from the onslaught of x-rays and other radiation. Doctor Bill treats the adult Footpip for minor genetic injuries in the medical compartment when Nathaniel stops by to visit. It tells him, “Don’t worry; it’s all over. There’s nothing to be scared about.”

“Good. We’ll drop you off on the nearest inhabited planet. We should be there in a few days,” Nathaniel says.

The green-furred adult suddenly sweeps his hand past Nathaniel’s snout and then makes a fist. “I got your nose.”

“Huh? You never touched me,” Nathaniel says.

“Look.” The Footpip shows Nathaniel the tip of his thumb poking out of his fist.

Nathaniel is confused. “That’s not my nose; that’s your thumb.”

“It’s your nose. I pulled it off,” the Footpip says.

Nathaniel pauses, unsure how to proceed. Was this creature insane? “I can see the ridges of your thumbprint. My nose is still on my face.” He touches his claw to his snout just to be sure.

“Don’t cry. It was only a joke. See?” It opens his hand to show an empty palm.

“I’m not crying. I knew it wasn’t my nose. I would have felt it being pulled off and there would have been blood,” Nathaniel states.

“Don’t cry. It was only a trick. I tricked you,” it says.

“I was never tricked,” Nathaniel responds.

“Yup, I tricked you good,” it continues, chuckling to itself.

Why were adults always so stupid? No wonder this one had flown into a neutron star. “I’ll drop you off on the nearest inhabited planet. There’s a Hammer-Face colony there. They’ll help you.”

“That’s okay. There’s no reason to be scared,” the Footpip says.

“Right,” Nathaniel says, and walks away.