Champion Of The Cosmos
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Champion of The Cosmos

The Slaveholders

5/29/2026

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After dumping the Wheel of Justice into the Laser Nebula, the four explorers stop to admire the scenery. Molecular interactions build up energy until the release of light triggers surrounding molecules to do the same, cascading across the nebula. Every few minutes, it throws out a laser burst in a different direction. “The energies here should obscure any clues as to the exact dumping point in space and time should the Bureau ever find it,” Nathaniel comments.

Next, they pass a blue supergiant star and spy a terrestrial planet in orbit. They decide to stop and explore. There are vast glass plains with edges not unlike frozen waves. This is where there are spheres of glass sitting about, ranging from two centimeters to four meters in diameter. Most of the rest of the planet is smooth, black marble. Then they see the bubble castles. “What are those?” Doctor Bill asks.

They fly closer and realize that there are many loose bubbles floating above the grounded structures. Some rise and chase after them. Before long, they are surrounded. The bubbles move closer and they can see creatures inside of them. “Land the ship,” Nathaniel orders.

Haticat sets the bed gently down on the marble surface. The bubbles land some distance away. Out from three of them slide three, brown, gumdrop-shaped beings with long claws. Nathaniel and Haticat put on space suits to protect them from the thin atmosphere and ultraviolet light and step out to meet them. “We make it our job to know all about visitors to our planet,” one says in a rough voice.

“Understandable. My name is Captain Nathaniel. This is Haticat. We are explorers and we didn’t know this planet was inhabited. It’s rare to find life this close to a blue star,” Nathaniel says.

“Yes, I know. We were also surprised,” the alien says. “We are Lingtreffians. This is one of our many colony worlds. Come back to town so we can get to know each other properly over a feast.”

“A feast?” Nathaniel says.

The Lingtreffians eat a wide variety of hot cereal and little else. They live inside transparent blue castles made up of many large bubbles. Some bubbles have connected interiors. Others are separated by walls, but these can be pushed through with some effort. Appliances and other belongings sit imbedded in the walls. Nathaniel, Haticat, Fred, and Doctor Bill are led into the chief’s house, leaving their weapons with the guards. “What do you call this one?” Nathaniel asks.

“Robmush,” the chief answers. “How do you like it?”

“It takes some getting used to,” Nathaniel answers.

“Well, you’re an explorer; you’ve probably eaten all kinds of cereal,” the Lingtreffian says.

“Yeah,” Nathaniel responds.

“Tell me about some of your visits,” the chief says.

“Well, a few years ago we were in a swamp of glowing, blue-green plants. We watched the stars come out after sunset while the night squids performed with their singing tentacles,” Nathaniel recounts.

“Oh yeah, that was the day I fell in the water,” Haticat comments.

“Were there any deserts on that planet?” the chief asks.

“Yes, full of what Fred calls firestone,” Nathaniel says.

“Because it’s orange and pointy,” Fred says.

“An interesting geological mystery we never solved,” Doctor Bill adds.

“Nice. We don’t explore anymore now that we live on Jazedex,” the chief says.

“So, why did you choose to settle here?” Nathaniel asks.

“Because this is where the Popollops live,” the chief answers.

“The what?” Nathaniel asks.

“They are all around you. They provide us with housing and transportation,” the chief says.

“What? Those blue bubbles? Those are Popollops?” Nathaniel queries.

“Yes, some of the most useful slaves we’ve ever found and dominated. We’ve enslaved a lot of species. We like slavery almost as much as eating. Do you have any slaves?” the chief asks.

“Uh…No, not really. I have my crew,” Nathaniel answers.

“We’re friends,” Haticat declares.

“Oh, that’s too bad. Friends are nice, but it’s better to have slaves,” the chief says.

“What’s better about them?” Nathaniel asks.

“Friends can run away. We keep our slaves nearby,” the chief explains. “If any Popollops float away, we send faster Popollops to chase them down.”

“But then why do the fast ones help you?” Nathaniel asks, confused.

The chief explains. “They don’t want to be popped. They are terrified of our claws. Every one of the fastest Popollops are constantly occupied by one Lingtreffian. It only takes a few guards in each town to maintain our society. Of course, if we had a ship as fast as yours, we’d only need one. What do you think about our society?”

“It takes some getting used to,” Nathaniel answers.


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Crimes Against Time

5/22/2026

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Nathaniel speeds through the Ezznagg sector, standing on the bridge platform of his ship. “We are being hailed by the GTE,” Haticat says.

“Oh, no. What do those idiots want?” Nathaniel asks.

“Surrender and unlock your force field. This is Galactic Travel Enforcement,” the radio booms.

“I’ll sort this out. Stop the engine so they can catch up,” Nathaniel orders. The GTE covers half of the galaxy, enforcing speed limits that varied by region and direction. Nathaniel always thought it all terribly arbitrary. In minutes, a large craft with flashing red, blue, and yellow lights parks gently against the force field. Nathaniel transmits his code so they can enter. Soon, eight officers step on board. One crawls over to the bed side to check for hidden crewmembers. Another inspects the computer controls. It is very crowded. “Welcome to my ship. I’m sure you’ll find it comfortable.”

The head cop grunts while the explorers are disarmed. They take Nathaniel’s ray gun, knife, and brass knuckles. “I am going to need those back.”

“Do you know how fast you were going?” the head cop asks.

“Not exactly,” Nathaniel says.

“You were going overlight seven in an overlight five zone,” the cop says. Overlight numbers mean powers of two multiples of light speed. Overlight seven equals 128c. Overlight five equals 32c.

Nathaniel shrugs. “Oops.”

“I’ll have to issue you a ticket,” the cop says.

“I guess so,” Nathaniel responds.

The cop begins typing on his tablet while Nathaniel watches. Finally he prints out a small piece of heavy-duty paper with shiny ink. Nathaniel takes it and puts it in his pocket while rolling his eyes.

“Just a second, boss, take a look at this,” the cop at the computer says. They all look at the computer screen. “The recorded law is different.” All ships sold in the parts of the Galaxy covered by the GTE were required to record the traffic law so that pilots were without the excuse of not knowing.

“What do you mean different?” Nathaniel asks.

The head cop turns around. “You’re all being detained for interrogation by the Bureau of Temporal Justice!”

“The what?” Nathaniel asks.


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Attack of The Nose-Picking Snot-Eating Zombies

5/15/2026

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Planet Ionine is a major hub of commerce for many races. Due to the differing biological needs of its visitors, artificial biomes have been constructed that divide up the landscape conspicuously, often with sharp lines between vegetation of different colors. In orbit are vast space stations that resemble alternating stacked pie plates, each with artificial gravity holding a designer atmosphere and perfectly-constructed habitat for one race or another. Originally a colony world of the Humans, they are still the dominant race.

Nathaniel, Haticat, Fred, and Doctor Bill land their space bed in a Human zone. Neon lights and shiny surfaces abound. “Do you want to trade Gruezhlings?” a young Human asks.

“These are my best friends. I can’t trade them,” Nathaniel says.

“Why not? I’m a friend trader. I’ve traded thousands of friends and they traded me,” the boy says.

“Well, my friends are trained explorers, so to replace them you’d have to find some with as much experience,” Nathaniel says.

“Oh,” the boy replies.

While they continue to talk, another boy shuffles up to them, breathing through his mouth. He begins to pick his nose. “Hey, don’t do that. That’s gross!” the first boy says.

The second boy simply pulls out a large booger and stuffs it in his mouth. “Gah!” Nathaniel says, shuddering.

“That’s not food!” Fred exclaims.

“What’s wrong with you? Did you sell your brains?” the first boy asks. The second boy simply stares and breathes. Then he reaches his picking finger toward the first boy’s nose. It is slapped away. “Stay out of my nose! My snots are not for sale!”

Nathaniel and his crew back up. The first boy leaves and the second boy starts to follow Nathaniel. He is not very fast and eventually enters a noodle store. “That was weird,” Nathaniel remarks.


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The Black Bees

5/8/2026

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This is the final countdown. The Saurornithosaur scientists had prepared for years. Only ten minutes remain for the scanner wave to come to its final focus on the spinning knowledge cube. Nathaniel watches the monitor in rapt attention. “How is it you come to Vodufix at just the right time?” he is asked.

“I always seem to arrive at turning points in history. I’m just lucky I guess,” Nathaniel answers. The Saurornithosaurs were seekers of that greatest treasure of all – knowledge. They were traveling from planet to planet and scanning them using their latest hypercomputer technology, sending scanning pulses reflecting off every part of the planet inside and out, timed so as to collect in one point in space and time. A levitating cube in this spot records the information before being retrieved and stored. They had recently finished scanning the twin planet of Vodufix, Ivvifix, orbiting a mere two hundred thousand kilometers away. Both planets have intense tides due to their proximity, requiring months of preparation to time the scanning wave correctly. However, their ecology is very different. Ivvifix is wet and cloudy. Much of its surface is cloud forest or glaciers. Vodufix is largely brown grasslands. High oxygen levels mean periodic forest fires on a global scale. As the wall of fire spreads, plants rapidly regrow in its wake in time for the same wave to continue burning around the planet.

The process is complete. The Saurornithosaurs have merely to retrieve the cube. Four of them exit the shuttle parked one kilometer away. “Any equipment too close to the cube while it’s operating can interfere with its operation. Also, it can never be teleported. That would wipe its memory,” the scientist explains.

The four scientists pass by some short, lumpy towers that resemble termite mounds. Some sort of flying insects zip around them. Some of them start to land on the outside of their space suits. “They look like some sort of black bees. Fascinating. Well, we’ll know all about them down to the atomic scale once we retrieve the cube.” Suddenly, one of the scientists screams and stiffens up like a statue. The others rush to check on him, but he is nonresponsive. Then they see black bees crawling around the inside of his face plate. They chew on his face with their tearing mandibles, replacing what they eat with cells of black wax. Another scientist screams and then another. The fourth tries to run back to the ship, but only makes it halfway.

The others watch from the ship through their scanning scope as their comrades are rapidly converted into wax statues filled with bees. “We need to get the cube!”

“Maybe set up in a safer location next time,” Nathaniel suggests.

“No! There won’t be a next time. If we don’t get this knowledge back to Pengo, it will bankrupt the company,” the Saurornithosaur says.

Another explains. “We have a knowledge-based currency, but for the past couple decades we have started to run out of new facts not already known by nearly everyone. Our expedition to scan and store the total state of twelve nearby planets cost us our entire reserves. If we succeed, we keep the economy afloat for another half century. If we fail, it all collapses and we revert to cannibalism.”

“Each knowledge cube costs almost as much as a third of a planet. We need it back,” yet another Saurornithosaur says.

The other scientists start to suit up. “Wait, we need a plan first or you’ll never make it,” Nathaniel objects.

“There’s no time,” another scientist says. “Without being plugged into a power source, data stored in the cube deteriorates rapidly. We have only minutes to get to it.”

Nathaniel turns to his Stuffians and runs outdoors. They follow him back to his ship. “We need to get a better space suit. Invent new material if we have to.”

“There isn’t time,” Doctor Bill says.

“There will be,” Nathaniel says as he walks through the force field to his bed.


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A Different Ninosa

5/1/2026

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“What’s a curfew?” Nathaniel asks. He and his crew are surrounded by four uniformed Ninos as he walks the streets at night.

“Are you stupid? Nobody is allowed outdoors after sunset,” the first Nino says.

“You’re outdoors,” Fred says.

“We’re enforcing the law under the authority of the scheduling department,” the Nino says.

“I’ve never heard of that department,” Nathaniel says.

“I don’t care! You’ll all have to be arrested!” the Nino declares.

“You can’t do that; you’ll be interfering with an ongoing investigation by the…uh…exploration department,” Nathaniel says.

“There’s no such thing!” the Nino yells.

“There’s no such thing as a scheduling department,” Nathaniel insists.

“Yes there is,” the Nino insists.

Nathaniel, Haticat, Fred, and Doctor Bill are jailed for one day and then let go. Planet Ninosa is very different than they remember. People stand closer, talk louder, and sometimes all talk at once. The constitution is different. The food is different. Ninos eat only plain butter grits now. Nathaniel likes grits, but he gets tired of it quickly. Even stranger, everything seems to be alive. Appliances, benches, and waste baskets have eyes and voices. They start up conversations. “Hey, do you have any grits?” a sidewalk bench grumbles when Nathaniel sits on it.

“No, not with me,” Nathaniel says.

“I want some grits,” the bench says.

Even the clouds are different. They float just above the rooftops and never get bigger than a double-decker bus. A rainbow bridges two skyscrapers together, but its colors are out of order. “That rainbow is not anatomically correct,” Nathaniel declares.

Back on board the ship where he cannot be overheard, Haticat complains. “I can’t stand it here. It’s too noisy. What happened to Ninosa?”


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    My name is Dan. I write books.

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